Genesis, Chapter 2

1) This is how Heaven and Earth were decked out, all fancy and awesome.

2) By the seventh day, God finished the stuff he was doing, so on this seventh day He took a nap.
3) God blessed this seventh day and made it holy, because He took a nap after making all the cool new stuff He made.

4) This is the story of Heaven and Earth, and how God made them when He did. When the Lord God made Earth and Heaven,
5) and no bushes on the ground were growing yet, because He had not made rain or any dudes to pull stuff off the bushes,
6) but water came out of the ground and covered Earth.

7) When He made a dude out of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nose the breath of life, that dude was alive.

8) He planted a garden on the east side of a 'hood called Eden, and that's where He stuck the dude He just made.

9) God made a bunch of trees grow out of the ground. They were pretty and had a bunch of really good fruit. The Tree of Life was there, and so was the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
10) A river flowed out of Eden to water the garden. In the garden, it split up into four other rivers.

11) The first river was called Pishon. It flows all around a 'hood called Havilah. There's some really good gold there,
12)and there's also some bdellium and some onyx.
13) The second river was called Gihon. It flows all around a 'hood called Cush.
14) The third river, that flowed around a 'hood called Assyria, was called Tigris. The fourth river was called Euphrates.

15) God took the dude and stuck him in the garden so he could work.
16) God told the dude he could eat from any tree he wanted,
17) As long as it wasn't from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. If you eat that fruit, you're gonna die.

18) Then he said, "It's not good that the dude is all alone; he needs a helper."

19) God made every animal and bird out of the ground, and then He showed that dude all these birds and animals. The dude gave the birds and animals a name, and that's what they are called.
20) The dude gave names to all the animals and birds, but he couldn't find one that could really help him.

21) So God put the dude to sleep and took one of his ribs, and then closed up the hole.
22) Then He took the rib, made a chick out of it, and then took the chick to meet the dude.

23) The dude said "She's got skin from my skin, and bone from my bones. I'm gonna call this chick a 'woman', because she was taken out of a man."

24) This is why a dude will move out of his parents' house and get a chick of his own, and they'll be like one person.

25) The chick and the dude were both nekkid, and they didn't feel ashamed of being nekkid.