1) This is how Heaven and Earth were decked out, all fancy and awesome.
2) By the seventh day, God finished the stuff he was doing, so on this seventh day He took a nap.
3) God blessed this seventh day and made it holy, because He took a nap after making all the cool new stuff He made.
4) This is the story of Heaven and Earth, and how God made them when He did. When the Lord God made Earth and Heaven,
5) and no bushes on the ground were growing yet, because He had not made rain or any dudes to pull stuff off the bushes,
6) but water came out of the ground and covered Earth.
7) When He made a dude out of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nose the breath of life, that dude was alive.
8) He planted a garden on the east side of a 'hood called Eden, and that's where He stuck the dude He just made.
9) God made a bunch of trees grow out of the ground. They were pretty and had a bunch of really good fruit. The Tree of Life was there, and so was the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
10) A river flowed out of Eden to water the garden. In the garden, it split up into four other rivers.
11) The first river was called Pishon. It flows all around a 'hood called Havilah. There's some really good gold there,
12)and there's also some bdellium and some onyx.
13) The second river was called Gihon. It flows all around a 'hood called Cush.
14) The third river, that flowed around a 'hood called Assyria, was called Tigris. The fourth river was called Euphrates.
15) God took the dude and stuck him in the garden so he could work.
16) God told the dude he could eat from any tree he wanted,
17) As long as it wasn't from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. If you eat that fruit, you're gonna die.
18) Then he said, "It's not good that the dude is all alone; he needs a helper."
19) God made every animal and bird out of the ground, and then He showed that dude all these birds and animals. The dude gave the birds and animals a name, and that's what they are called.
20) The dude gave names to all the animals and birds, but he couldn't find one that could really help him.
21) So God put the dude to sleep and took one of his ribs, and then closed up the hole.
22) Then He took the rib, made a chick out of it, and then took the chick to meet the dude.
23) The dude said "She's got skin from my skin, and bone from my bones. I'm gonna call this chick a 'woman', because she was taken out of a man."
24) This is why a dude will move out of his parents' house and get a chick of his own, and they'll be like one person.
25) The chick and the dude were both nekkid, and they didn't feel ashamed of being nekkid.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Genesis, Chapter 1
Genesis
Chapter 1
1. In the beginning, God made Heaven and Earth.
2. Now the earth was a blob of nothing, it was really dark over the top of the deep, and His spirit was hangin’ out over the water.
3. God said “I want some light!” and He made some light.
4. He saw that the light was really awesome, so then he kept it separate from the darkness.
5. He called the light “Day”, and the darkness “Night”. Then we had the first evening and the first morning…the first day.
6. Then God said “I want to split the water in two, and put a space in between!”.
7. So He split the water in two, with one part of the water on top of the space and the other part of the water underneath it. It happened.
8. God called this space “Heaven”. Then it got dark, and then it got light again, and He had a second day.
9. Then he said “I want all the water under that space called ‘Heaven’ in one spot, and then I want a dry chunk of land.” It happened.
10. God called the dry spot “Earth”, and He called the wet spot “The Seas”. When He looked at it, He really liked it.
11. Then God said “I want some trees, some fruit, some vines, some wheat, and a whole bunch of other plants growing on that dry spot I call ‘Earth’”. It happened.
12. A whole bunch of plants started growing all over the place. Plants had seeds that grew other plants just like them, and fruit had seeds inside that would grow other fruit trees that had the same kind of fruit. God made it really cool.
13. Then it got dark, and then it got light again, and He had a third day.
14. Then He said, “I want lights in Heaven, to tell the difference between day and night, what season it is, what day it is, and even what year it is;
15. and I want these lights in Heaven to light up the Earth.” It happened.
16. God made two really big lights. The biggest one is up in the daytime. The smaller one is up at night. He also threw a bunch of stars out there into Heaven.
17. God put all these lights up in Heaven so there would be light on Earth,
18. and to show when it was night and day, and to make shadows. God really liked it.
19. Then it got dark, and then it got light again, and He had a fourth day.
20. Then God said, “I want a whole bunch of fish and other animals in the water, and I want a bunch of birds flying around in Heaven.”
21. God made all kinds of animals that live in the water, and He made all kinds of birds that flew in Heaven.
22. God blessed them. He told the animals that lived in the water to get jiggy and make more animals to fill up the water, and he told the birds to land on Earth so they could get jiggy and make more birds.
23. Then it got dark, and then it got light again, and He had a fifth day.
24. God said “I want a bunch of animals on earth, and make them all different kinds: livestock, animals that crawl, wild animals, some of each different kind.” It happened.
25. God made different kinds of livestock, different kinds of wild animals, and different kinds of animals that crawled on the ground. When God looked at these animals, he really liked them.
26. Then He said “I want some dudes that look like me, and I want to put these dudes in charge of the other animals.
27. So God made a dude that looked just like Him, in His own likeness and image; He made a dude and a chick.
28. God blessed them, and told them to get jiggy so they could have lots of kids and take over the world and all the other animals that live on it.
29. Then He said “I gave you all these plants and fruits and other stuff growing on the Earth, so you could eat,
30. and I gave the other animals and birds a bunch of green plants to eat.” It happened.
31. God saw all the cool stuff He made, and it was really sweet. Then it got dark again, and then it got light again. He had a sixth day.
Chapter 1
1. In the beginning, God made Heaven and Earth.
2. Now the earth was a blob of nothing, it was really dark over the top of the deep, and His spirit was hangin’ out over the water.
3. God said “I want some light!” and He made some light.
4. He saw that the light was really awesome, so then he kept it separate from the darkness.
5. He called the light “Day”, and the darkness “Night”. Then we had the first evening and the first morning…the first day.
6. Then God said “I want to split the water in two, and put a space in between!”.
7. So He split the water in two, with one part of the water on top of the space and the other part of the water underneath it. It happened.
8. God called this space “Heaven”. Then it got dark, and then it got light again, and He had a second day.
9. Then he said “I want all the water under that space called ‘Heaven’ in one spot, and then I want a dry chunk of land.” It happened.
10. God called the dry spot “Earth”, and He called the wet spot “The Seas”. When He looked at it, He really liked it.
11. Then God said “I want some trees, some fruit, some vines, some wheat, and a whole bunch of other plants growing on that dry spot I call ‘Earth’”. It happened.
12. A whole bunch of plants started growing all over the place. Plants had seeds that grew other plants just like them, and fruit had seeds inside that would grow other fruit trees that had the same kind of fruit. God made it really cool.
13. Then it got dark, and then it got light again, and He had a third day.
14. Then He said, “I want lights in Heaven, to tell the difference between day and night, what season it is, what day it is, and even what year it is;
15. and I want these lights in Heaven to light up the Earth.” It happened.
16. God made two really big lights. The biggest one is up in the daytime. The smaller one is up at night. He also threw a bunch of stars out there into Heaven.
17. God put all these lights up in Heaven so there would be light on Earth,
18. and to show when it was night and day, and to make shadows. God really liked it.
19. Then it got dark, and then it got light again, and He had a fourth day.
20. Then God said, “I want a whole bunch of fish and other animals in the water, and I want a bunch of birds flying around in Heaven.”
21. God made all kinds of animals that live in the water, and He made all kinds of birds that flew in Heaven.
22. God blessed them. He told the animals that lived in the water to get jiggy and make more animals to fill up the water, and he told the birds to land on Earth so they could get jiggy and make more birds.
23. Then it got dark, and then it got light again, and He had a fifth day.
24. God said “I want a bunch of animals on earth, and make them all different kinds: livestock, animals that crawl, wild animals, some of each different kind.” It happened.
25. God made different kinds of livestock, different kinds of wild animals, and different kinds of animals that crawled on the ground. When God looked at these animals, he really liked them.
26. Then He said “I want some dudes that look like me, and I want to put these dudes in charge of the other animals.
27. So God made a dude that looked just like Him, in His own likeness and image; He made a dude and a chick.
28. God blessed them, and told them to get jiggy so they could have lots of kids and take over the world and all the other animals that live on it.
29. Then He said “I gave you all these plants and fruits and other stuff growing on the Earth, so you could eat,
30. and I gave the other animals and birds a bunch of green plants to eat.” It happened.
31. God saw all the cool stuff He made, and it was really sweet. Then it got dark again, and then it got light again. He had a sixth day.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)